Things with me

Inspired by my friend Kathy who always gave the long version and the short (quick and easy to read) version in her email updates. Only with me you only get the short version - 

Things going on with me:

• I currently have poison ivy on most areas of my body. I blame Carlos who likes to chop things down in our yard and burn them. I think the fumes from the fire engulfed me in nasty itchyness. 
• Cole is having tubes put in his ears on Wednesday - a minor thing, but still a "surgery" where they knock him out. Should be fine... I will see how it goes. Hopefully I won't lose it when they take him from me. 
• Finally made an appointment and visited a doctor for a regular check-up. It has only been on my "to-do" list for three or four years.... 
• I have to go get a second CT scan on my abdomen because of mysteriously swollen lymph glands or something. Shouldn't be much to worry about at this point. Just another medical thing going on at the moment. 
• Still waiting to hear back from the eye doctor on how to fix my cornea... (it is currently a bit wonky and I am still seeing double.) Made an appointment for a second opinion. 
• I am getting a wee bit tired of medical stuff- appointments and phone calls and scheduling and prescriptions, etc. One thing just keeps leading to another, it would be nice to put it behind me. (In the month of May between me and the kids we have 9 doctors appointments....  NINE). 
• In all the medical stuff going on, nothing is overwhelming emotionally or physically. It is just STUFF I have to do. It just takes a lot of time. Time that is usually precious to begin with. 
• Today was a beautiful day that required an impromtu stop at the dairy farm where they make their ice cream but only take cash. I dug up every last penny in my car and the kids and I shared a bowl of mint chocolate chip on a park bench next to a life size plaster statue of a horse with Cole booming "ICE CREAM CONE" every 5 minutes even though we were eating from a cup.  
• Kailin has totally mastered how to turn the bowl and scrape every last drop out the remaining liquid ice cream.  
• Kailin turns 3 soon. Ack. 
• I like Aldi and Aldi prices. I need to shop there more often. 
• Good neighbors are fantastic.
• Good friends are beautiful. 
• God is greater and more fantastic and more beautiful than anything I can imagine.
• Tomorrow is going to be a good day.

Love,

Kirsten

The world according to Kailin

Kailin-ism's - - - - - - - 

We were in the car on the way to the dentist when Kailin saw a silver Honda Pilot in the other driving lane next to us. Smart girl that she is - she immediately identified the car as "Nony's car" because Nony drives a silver Pilot. I then with my super adult self try to explain to her that although it is exactly like "Nony's car" the car is actually called a Honda Pilot. Her response? "No mommy - it is called a CAR." I deserved that one.   

We arrived at the dentist and when her name was called she sprang into the doorway and announced to the technician that she was going to get a new toothbrush and her favorite colors were pink and orange and how she should get her teeth cleaned all while taking the lead walking down the hallway to the room. Future dentist? 

Kailin gets upset at meal times when her plate, fork/spoon, and cup aren't pink and orange because - (see above) they are her favorite colors. 

Kailin L.O.V.E.S. Thomas the train - and all the other trains involved with Thomas.

Kailin was watching Thomas and turned to me and said "Mommy, I think I should go on a train sometime soon, ok?" 

Kailin was sitting on my bed playing with my alarm clock and just for the sake of making conversation I asked her what time she thought it was. Her response? "Party time." Of course.

Kailin is totally obsessed with her upcoming birthday. (see above) She saw a box full of baskets and easter eggs for our (then) upcoming easter egg hunt and declared "It's my party box!" 

When I asked her what we should do or have at her upcoming birthday she answered "candles." 

Kailin thinks "sharing" is when she takes something from Cole and he doesn't have a tantrum over his lost toy. "Look mommy - He shared!" Um. not really - you took it and he decided he didn't care. 

My mom was trying to get Kailin to go potty before rest time - Kailin sat and sat and sat on the toilet (probably to avoid rest time) and then after finally going potty she looked at my mom and said 

"There I went pee pee - are you happy now?" 

She wouldn't wear a dress for Easter until I put leggings on her and called it a "big shirt". Can't say I blame her....

She is totally in love with worms. And finding worms. Our backyard currently has lots of holes....

There are sooooo many more. She is my little spunky red head. 

 

Double Vision

I have double vision in my right eye. It isn't as fun as it sounds and it certainly has not launched my career as a super-hero. The story begins about a year ago when Kailin scratched my eye with her tiny little finger nail. I was treated for a scratched cornea at the eye doctor and sent home. Except my eye didn't get better - it kept getting worse. After about half a dozen visits (co-pay, co-pay, co-pay) the eye doctor finally discovered what was really going on: a Herpes (viral) infection of the eye. Lovely. My first reaction? Um- how did I get this because I thought Herpes was....? Ohh - this is a Herpes 1 infection as opposed to the Herpes 3. Got it. As it turns out, the infection had either been dormant in my system until Kailin's scratch activated it - or I caught it from someone else who had it. The doctor was able to get the infection under control and thankfully the scarring from the infection on my cornea was under my line of vision. I haven't had too much of an issue with it - until March. After Carlos' two week hiatus to China, because of the fatigue (and maybe a small teensy weensy amount of stress) my infection flared back up big time. I went to back to the eye doctor immediately but unfortunately sustained another hit to my eye with the scarring on my cornea. After another half a dozen visits (co-pay, co-pay, co-pay), and two pairs of prescription eye glasses that made me sick to wear them (Praise God - Lens Crafters took them back and gave me a full refund!), the eye doctor has finally figured out what is going on now. After taking a scan of my eye and making a map of my eye like a topography map this is what I know:

Good news: the scarring on my cornea is still beneath my line of vision. 

Bad news: the impact of the scarring has literally created a "mountain peak" or a ripple effect in my cornea. (a cornea should normally be fairly smooth) This is why I see double. My right eye is now refracting light about 2 or 3 different ways. It makes looking at anything with light interesting and difficult. A computer screen, tv, sunlight, lamp light - you name it. I see it twice. 

I may need surgery. The doctor said it may be something as simple as making a slit in my cornea to let it relax and smooth out. (Does making a slit in my eye sound simple?) My eye doctor has to do some research and get back to me on what happens next. (Someone asked me if this meant he was "Googling" my eye problem....)

I am hoping maybe for a little more than that. 

I am hopeful. 

I just have to stay fatigue and stress free. :) 

Trust me, although I have had my ups and downs with this eye thing - I can still (mostly) see and I am very thankful for that. I will keep everyone posted on what the verdict is. Maybe I should go googling....

To call or not to call

My kids are sick. Not laying motionless on the floor with a rocketing fever sick - but just the cranky, generally whiny, slightly feverish now and then, snot running down their faces kind of sick. I sit and torture myself with the question to call or not to call the doctor? On one hand, they are not their normal selves. On the other hand, how do I explain to the "advice nurse" that a runny nose, crankiness, and general whiny behavior is a sickness? I generally always decide it is better to sacrifice my dignity in the face of the nurses and doctors and make the call in the hopes that I am right. I took Cole to the doctor last Wednesday, and it turned out he had an ear infection. Ah HA! Hooray for mom instincts and medication. Friday morning he was feverish and miserable again with so much congestion and coughing he was gagging. Okkkkay - but while he is on antibiotics??? I called the advice nurse and she suggested a small dose of Benadryl and observe him for a few hours. I felt like the crazy mom who calls for everything. I called back 4 hours later when he was gagging so hard he was crying- back to the doctor we went. The diagnosis this time?
Teething.
Huh? Where did my instincts go wrong?
I was sent on my way with some allergy nose spray (just in case it was more than just teething) and the advice to wait it out. He is feeling better now, however Kailin now has the same "teething" illness. She is congested, coughing, feverish, and generally miserable. So here I am today with the phone in my hand - to call or not to call? Do I call and talk to the advice nurse for the 4th time in 2 weeks? I have the feeling she hears my last name and just sighs. I also wonder if our charts have little stickers on them that indicates whether I am a frequent caller - the crazy mom who calls when her kids get the sniffles. If I do call and end up going it means I have to haul both kids into the sick den with the hopes that I am right. Or do I sit and wait it out and then possibly have a more miserable child tomorrow? Oh the agony. 

And by the way - here I am. A few of you have mentioned my noticeable blogging absence and I thank you for caring. (Mike, Susan, and Lauren- that means you.) :)
I do love to write all the randomness in my head but ever since March I have been busy and focused on other things. It comes down to time and money. I hope I can find more time to share about the things going on, but for now, I think I will go call the doctor.

Updates from Day 11

---Warning: this post may make no sense, please read at your own risk---

Day 11 -
Let me see what I can remember about what we have been up to. It is going to be a challenge because lately I have been forgetting things like simple vocabulary words, what life before kids was like, and my voicemail password. I can not begin to tell you how incredibly freaked out I was on Thursday when I went to check my voicemail and could NOT remember what my code was. I have punched that 5 digit number in hundreds of times, but it escaped me all day on Thursday. I tried calling Verizon but my name isn't on the freakin' account so the lady wouldn't even talk to me even after I rambled about my husband being in China and being by myself - she was all Fort Knox about it. It wasn't until the next day that my autopilot kicked back in and I remembered. Thankfully there weren't any urgent messages - just one from the pediatrician reminding me I have an appointment for Cole on Monday.
Let me see how I do remembering that one.
So people will ask how I am doing - and I will say I am doing good, and I am doing good. But the memory loss, current breakout of massive zits, and a flare up of my fun herpes eye infection will let me know what is really up. (Yes I said herpes. Yes it is in my eye. It lies dormant until it gets aggravated by stress or fatigue. It makes it swollen, red, bloodshot, oozy, and blurry. Lots of fun) SO I am tired and apparently (somewhat) stressed. Even if I won't fully admit it. You have to understand though - my stressed is still a very laid back stressed. I am not freaking out or ready to run out of the house screaming (yet) - it is just a build up of busyness and not getting enough rest.  So Moms and Aunts and loved ones reading this - please don't freak out - I really am ok.
And for those of you still curious about the Herpes eye infection - just go Google it.

What I can remember - we had a great time at the Nature Center on Monday with our friends Kelly and Will - beautiful day, interesting attempt at a nature walk, not to many animals, and some wonderful otters who put on a show for us.  No nap for Kailin.

Tuesday - Work. Come home to crazy kids. No nap for Kailin.

Wednesday.... what on earth did we do Wednesday?  Maybe it will come to me later. (Later) Oh yeah! We went for a walk in the morning with friends Christi and Ivi - love walking. love friends. love the new stroller. Managed to keep the kids from beating on each other in the stroller. No nap for Kailin. Later in the afternoon while laying on the floor in sheer exhaustion in Kailin's room - she surprises me, drop lands on my stomach taking all the wind out of me - and then tells me "Mommy - You look like a Princess."  (heart melts a little)

Thursday - Work. Come home to crazy kids. No nap for Kailin.

Friday - Took Kailin to the doctor  - sinus infection. Yay. Waited 30 minutes, went to the pharmacy - managed to get both kids to the back of the store without them knocking anything off a shelf to have the pharmacist say - "I haven't gotten anything for you". ARRGH! (Why does this always happen?!) I want to go back to the good ol' written on paper prescriptions.
Call Dr. office - they discover the transmission hasn't been sent. duh.
They call pharmacy.
Pharmacy then starts working on order.
I spend 15 minutes chasing my kids around CVS and avoiding the looks of shoppers and the annoyed cashier.
Get prescription.
Get the heck out.
So after almost 2 weeks of my daughter not napping - (maybe that is why I am tired??) she finally conked out for 1 hour on Friday. Enough time for me to pass out myself for a short bit.
Decide it would be better to stay home rather than meet up with friends like planned that evening (which made me very sad and a little depressed) due to fuzzy eye condition and driving at night and general fatigue. End up feeding kids dinner at the granny hour of 4:30 because I just want to strap them into chairs so they can't move.
Out of milk.
Out of bread.
Out of juice.
Out of peanut butter.
Out of 20 other things.
Off to Wal-mart we go. Friday night at Wal-mart. Yayyyyyy.

Saturday - Went to the post office to mail some packages of stuff I sold on Ebay (my attempt at attacking debt). Wait in line behind 10 people while my children go on a rampage of touching everything (being children) and refusing to listen to me. The climax was when Cole had a complete meltdown and was laying on his back on the floor in absolute hysterics and then it was my turn to go to the counter. I asked the lady if I could leave my son in line and she said "as long as no one trips over him." Ok by me.
Stood patiently while the post office lady asked me for every package whether there was something "hazardous, liquid, or perishable" whether I wanted Insurance or delivery confirmation, and would I like to upgrade to overnight service? all while Cole is still on the floor screaming and Kailin is helping herself to a postage meter hanging on the wall and a lady in line is chastising her that the thing she is touching may be breakable. Um my answers are still No, no, andddddd no. Try to escape without making eye contact with any of the 15 people on line behind us. Decide that whatever money there is to be had on Ebay isn't worth the effort of going to the post office. Ever.

Attempt to go the Biltmore with friends Ellen, Timothy, and Jaden. Freeze our tooshies off.
Oh yeah - I forgot - It isn't April - It is February. Brrrrr. And the farm part with the animals doesn't open until noon. Wait until noon. Race around the farm with 50 other people who got there when it opened without losing any of our kids and get the heck out as fast as we can. We ended up doing drive-through McDonalds for lunch (my first dining out since Carlos left!) and parking our cars side by side in the parking lot with our windows down because neither one of us had the energy to get the kids out of the car to sit inside the restaurant like normal people do. She and I decide that we could write a book for pregnant ladies titled either "The New Normal" or "What No One Else is EVER Going to Tell You"
Get home.
Everyone naps. YAYYY!
Feel much better. Eye is on the mend.
Have picnic dinner under a tent in the living room.
Feel completely blessed.

I feel a little like this.

A little like this.

And I am craving this. 

He must be my son if he has resorted to licking plastic ice cream.... 

T-minus three days until Carlos is home.

Day 5 Highlights

So far in the past few days Kailin has told me - "Don't even look at me" and "Are you kidding me?"
I wonder what the middle school and high school years will be like because it feels like I am already living them. She has also started declaring that she is "Rusty the puppy" and I should call her that. She wants to live in a  dog house and eat dog food. (Wait - Is she calling my cooking dog food?) Woof. Back to being a 2 year old.

Cole has pooped in the potty twice in one day on Friday - what???? crazy!! But not since.

Tried to take the kids to a park yesterday morning because the sun was shining. What the sun did not indicate was the below freezing wind chill. We abandoned that quickly - much to my kids annoyance. They didn't seem to notice how cold it was. I kept thinking the sun would warm things up. It never happened. I guess it is still February after all. 

Went to Walmart later in the day after the park debacle because we were out of everything that my kids actually eat (milk, bread, and cheesy bunnies) and pulled up next to a parking lot cart holder and the cart I STALK was SITTING there waiting for ME. It was a mercy from the Lord in Heaven. And I praised Him for it. Unfortunately after I got home I realized I forgot to buy diapers. Sigh. Back to Walmart.

Church was good. Except I had to football carry Cole and half drag Kailin back to the car after church because they were tired and cranky and hungry. I was that mom in the church parking lot pleading with her child to please listen while I half drag her arm off in the parking lot with the other kid shoved under my other armpit while he was crying and throwing a fit. If there is one thing no one should have to do alone - it is bring home two tired, cranky, and hungry kids home after church where all they did was play and eat nilla wafers and try to feed them a decent lunch and get them to nap. IMpossible. Good thing I learned about where my bread comes from in my Bible Fellowship Group today.

Fed the kids lunch - White sticky rice, turkey meatballs, and ketchup. Yes ketchup. So you can imagine what the table and floor looked like - especially since they did not really want to eat the food after all those yummy nilla wafers at church. I got out the vacuum and went to town on the food shrapnel. White sticky rice is - surprise - sticky. In my focused efforts to clean up the rice I accidentally vacuumed up Cole's sock that he had kicked off. I keep trying to remind myself it is in there before I throw the contents away.... retrieve sock, retrieve sock.

Cole's nose started running. Again. Not the here and there dippy drips, but the full force, someone turned the nozzle on, massive sticky slime. (Like ghostbusters slime) I can suction it with the bulb syringe, but if I am not fast enough with a tissue, Cole gets his hand in there and wipes it on his face, ears, hair, hands, you name it. It just sticks and hangs there. It is nasty. And suctioning his nose sounds a lot like, well, vacuuming up a sock.

I am thankful for PBS, cereal, internet, PBS again, cheesy bunnies, my new stroller, long walks with dear friends - especially when they are not grossed out by me pulling snot from my son's nose with my fingers and wiping it on his pants, a beautiful grey sky that looked like it was watercolor painted, coffee (although I miss my barista-man Carlos), being able to skype for a few moments with Carlos - (thank you Chinese government), and for being alive today - pursuing my passions, raising the best kids ever (they are! - even if my blog sometimes says otherwise), living in this beautiful free country, worshiping corporately with my church, my family, my husband, ... the list goes on.

Generally speaking, tired, but grateful. 

Still Standing

Day 2.5 without Carlos.
I am T.I.R.E.D. but not conquered.
Busy day of playing, walking, chatting, driving, shopping (WEE SALE!), cooking, walking more, and on and on. And for my regular readers you may be looking at the last statement and thinking, SHOPPING? Did she just say SHOPPING? Well what the heck is that about after her rant on not spending any more money on unnecessary purchases? Well my friends, and the little voice in my head, I went to the WEE Trade (a large local consignment sale - remember this) with a mission - and my mission was accomplished. You might remember my weight loss regimen from last summer - remember the duo glider? The duo glider has been good to us. It was a hand me down from my wonderful sister-in-law - aka FREE. It fits 2 kids. It is functional. It is terrible to handle or maneuver at all - if I am on an uneven or sloped surface it takes all my upper body strength to keep it moving forward and not crashing into the ditch on the side of the road. I like to walk. It keeps me sane. Having my kids strapped into one place for 45 minutes while I get to work up a sweat and connect with nature makes me happy. So my mission was a big-wheeled stroller that was light. And I give you:  The Babytrend. 

I think at $50 bucks it was a good deal. If you think otherwise - just keep it to yourself. 

I do wonder how hard it would have been for the previous owner to vacuum the cheerios out of the seat before putting it up for sale. That is why it is being featured in my kitchen in this photograph. 

I had to give it a sponge bath. 

To ration with you people still arguing with me about whether it was needed or not - I am actually selling stuff in the sale and hope to make what I spent. Fingers crossed. 

My trendy look by the end of today.

Shabby chic? 

Nighty night.

And please Lord - would it be possible for the kids to sleep in just a little bit tomorrow??