I should have never gone in the first place. There was NO reason for me to go. Except that
every year as Christmas approaches I start feeling more and more uncertain and insecure about the gifts I already have for everyone. I start to think they aren't enough, they don't have enough meaning, they are just small and handmade and usually photography based (again and again) - you get the picture. This year is no different, except that I have started feeling bad that Carlos and I didn't get a lot for the kids. They are already getting so much - I just didn't see the need at first. But now the little voice in my head was telling me I am a bad parent to not have presents for my kids. So after heading to Asheville for another errand, I decided to go to Kohl's with my 20% coupon and see if the children's clothing was on clearance and what toys might be on sale, as well as scoping out if there was anything else for OTHER people that might be a good deal. This was ambitious with two children. I know. I went armed with snacks, but the first thing that happened in the first 5 minutes we were in the store was I realized I hadn't gone to the bathroom all morning. (This happens a lot as a mom - you sacrifice your bathroom time because it isn't worth the hassle) There wasn't any putting off the call of nature this time so I hauled both the kids down to the customer service area to see a single woman stepping into the family bathroom. The one intended for people with kids. Pet peeve. PET PEEVE. This is a public service announcement: Just because you want more airy space or you think it is cleaner, or whatever reason you have - please please please leave the family bathrooms available for moms hauling children. Thank you. Back to my story: I couldn't wait for selfish bathroom lady. We went to the regular bathroom stalls where I had to jam me, Kailin, and the shopping cart with Cole all inside the handicapped stall. The fun of having a toddler is that she likes to play with the latch on the door while I am doing my business. This creates lots of fun conversation for other people in the bathroom to overhear. "Kailin - please leave the door alone - Kailin, KAILIN - LEAVE It - PLEASE don't touch it. NONONO mommy isn't DONE yet. I am STILL PUTTING MY PANTS ON!"
After I made it through that I gave shopping one more try and quickly decided to cut it short and abort my shopping mission. It wasn't worth it. No present for anyone was worth it.
I got to the sidewalk where two very nice people driving stopped to let me cross. I was carrying Cole and holding Kailin's hand when Cole decided he would rather walk. Only his way of deciding that he would rather walk was to hurl his whole body weight towards the ground. So there I am in the middle of the parking lot holding up traffic with my son dangling head first towards the ground while I hold him one handed. My only option (that happened in an instant) was to take my other hand from Kailin and grab him before he cracked his head open on the pavement. However, the jolt of me taking my hand away from Kailin upset her balance and she went face first into the pavement. Now she is screaming and crying, and Cole is walking on his merry way in the other direction across the parking lot and I am scrambling trying to pick her up and capture him before he walks up to one of the cars waiting for me to get out of the way. I got it together. The whole event took maybe 3 minutes - but it felt like eternity. It is one of those moments where you are trying not to make eye contact with the people in their cars still waiting for you to move.
Ahhh those magnificent moments.
